Saturday, January 19, 2008

Feeling Overwhelmed

I sit here tonight feeling really overwhelmed. Feelings, of sadness, guilt, frustration and depression surround me and I know it has to get better. Andrew is running around in circles banging on the desk, staring at the monitor, banging some more on the blinds and giving screeches to ask for itunes. It's the same thing everyday and nothing seems to change. I believe kids with Autism have better chances of recovery than ever before but the puzzle to Andrew's autism seems to be a really difficult one. I worry over everything. I worry that we aren't doing his diet the right way. I worry that he has food allergies that we aren't aware of besides issues with gluten and cassin. I worry that we should already have him on digestive enzymes- but worry that maybe he isn't suppossed to take those with the probiotics he is already taking. I worry that his gut isn't healing like it needs to be and that we will start chelation to early to work for him. I worry that if we don't get a hard chamber hyper baric oxygen chamber that it will be money wasted and we won't see changes. I worry that more applicants for the nanny position will be no shows like the three that were scheduled for interviews today. I worry that Andrew will never talk, and I worry that his life will never be productive like ours. These are just the thoughts that wake me up at 2am and are controlling my day. I need really need to let go of things and let God do his work.

4 comments:

In Christ said...

Pslam 6
vv7&f

I am worn out from sobbing
Every night tears drintch my bed;my pillow is wet from weeping. My vision is blured by grief...

The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.

I love you so much and will be praying for you, Brandy and Andrew. I hurt deep within my heart for you. I don't know what to say. You are so very precious in my eyes and will always be. God will provide and you will be strong in Him. draw close to him as James says and He will draw close to you. I love you Felt with all my heart.

Anonymous said...

Pslam 6
vv7&f

I am worn out from sobbing
Every night tears drintch my bed;my pillow is wet from weeping. My vision is blured by grief...

The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.

I love you so much and will be praying for you, Brandy and Andrew. I hurt deep within my heart for you. I don't know what to say. You are so very precious in my eyes and will always be. God will provide and you will be strong in Him. draw close to him as James says and He will draw close to you. I love you Felt with all my heart.

Anonymous said...

My husband saw this post and said I should write you something. I really don't know what to write. I pray that this will be encouraging. My name is,Tera and I have a five year old with autism. We found out when he was three. As the person in Christ said God will provide and he has for us. My son started an ABA program in October and it has made a world of difference. He is just now starting to talk. We did not do the diet for him, but I have friends that it has helped. We did the oxygen chamber (in a soft chamber)and it helped him sleep better. I wish I had the perfect cure but I don't. If you are a believer in Christ then he will help you and he knows your son and what he needs. God didn't answer my prayers immediately but He did answer them and continues too. He gave you your son because you are the perfect mom for him and God will help you raise him. Through my experience I have had to rely more and more on the Lord each day to raise my son and to not let the fears of the future over power me. Also God reminded me of 1 Cor. 15:40 so even though my son may not ever talk or ever be "typical" in this life, in heaven he will have a glorified body and be able to speak and be perfect. I take great hope in this. You and your son are in my prayers. You are not alone even though you may feel like it at times. I don't have a blog account. If you ever want to email this is my address teradeal@gmail.com

May the grace of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ bless you life greatly.

Tera

Anonymous said...

I am going to chime in on this old stream of comments and hope that you get my message.

First, please know that the only way you can help your child is to be strict with the diet and supplements. If your child was deathly allergic to peanuts, would you offer him one just because it was his favorite food? No. You have to understand - gain the knowledge - that certain foods/ingredients are causing your son to be sick (and do allergy testing!! you won't know what is going on if you aren't testing).

These interventions and treatments are very difficult; but, you will be rewarded with seeing your child improve. And MORE IMPORTANTLY, your child will feel better.

You must have faith and you must believe, as I am sure you do. Be strong. And remember, YOU are responsible for your child's treatments - if you don't follow through and be stringent, your child cannot benefit.