Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Anxiety and a Little Depression

We have been dealing with a little of both of anxiety and depression lately. Last week Andrew woke up every morning screaming and whining and stayed frustrated and anxious all day throughout therapy sessions. It was very difficult for the therapists to work with him and everyone was wondering what was going on. The routine was the same and we were doing everything we could to keep him calm and happy but we couldn't let him watch the Mickey Mouse Club House all day or let him listen to the same CD over and over- which let to some major meltdowns. It would start at 5 in morning when I would wake up and hear him whining and screaming. Wow that tested our patience and thank goodness for a great support team of attendants and therapists. The anxiety which disrupted any good work in therapy was finally resolved Friday morning when he woke up and was quietly cooing in his bed. I was soo relieved and my happy boy was back.
He had a great weekend going to a birthday party for one of my patients. I should have taken pictures because he had so much fun with the inflatables and me bouncing him. My back is killing me now but is was worth it to truck him up an inflatable slide and slide him down while he laughed. What we will do for a smile! He loves being around other children and watching them play. His Nonnie and Dandy came to visit and Nonnie watched him Saturday night so his dad and I could catch a movie. Thanks Nonnie you are the best!
Sat and Sun is when I noticed some new things with him and then the depression or should I say sadness hit me. He first displayed breathholding at 2 and 1/2 years and now this past weekend started holding his breath till his face turned red and almost passes out. I had read about this and was even told that this could occur by his neurologist, but seeing it first hand scares you to death. He gets lightheaded and dizzy and then it happens again and again. And nothing stops it and there is nothing to treat it and I have been told to just prepare for him to pass out and come to breathing normal again. It isn't a behavior it is just part of Rett Syndrome and I hate it. His hand movements changed again this weekend and although he continues to clap and wring his hands he now pulls them to his face in a praying position and hunches his back over like an old man. This morning he started shuffeling his feet while staying in one position and just last month started some shaky and jerky movements with his head. AAHHHH. Last night I was just filled with sadness. Sad that this syndrome is taking over his body and will continue to do so and sadness that it limits him in so many ways. We continue on this journey and make the best of what life has given him and us but there will always be sadness on some level and there will always be times when we will greive or are depressed about it.
School will be here soon and I am a little anxious about sending him without a 1:1 aide considering all that is going on with him. We had two falls yesterday. The first he hit his mouth on the kitchen countertop and the second he fell backwards and hit his head on the floor. What a rough day he had. On a funny note when he holds his breath, face gets red and veins are popping out of his neck, he gets very lightheaded and will sometimes laugh while I am panicking. What a stinker!


Avery said...

brandi, avery has been on zoloft since christmas and Cole(autism) has been on it since he was 2.5 (now 6!). it had made a huge difference in both kids. in avery is stopped her hyperventilating all together and her breathe holding is decreased significantly.

Brooklyn and Kelly said...

Brandi, I am so sorry to hear that Andrew is goign throug hso many Rett changes - they are all so hard to witness. Hang in there sweetie!!

abbysworld said...

The breath holding scared us too. Our Neuroligist explained it with 3 little words. "Because she can"
There are so many things our kiddos can't do because of Rett when they find something they can they run with it. Breath Holding,Eye Rolling,weird tongue things.
It's ok to grieve. I have yet to met anyone that said they ever got over it. Just don't let it overtake you.
Big hugs!
Terri and Abby

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