Sunday, January 4, 2009

Andrew's one on one aide

Some of you may know that Andrew has had a one on one aide at school since he started. It is not something that we initially asked for but the school offered this at his first ARD meeting and so we happily agreed to it. This was to be provided to him for the first 30 school days, which ends tommorrow. So, tommorrow we have yet another ARD meeting, which makes it 3 meetings with the school district in a matter of 2 months of attending school. I sit here tonight feeling really anxious, and stressed about the meeting. The last two meetings went ok but this one I know is not going to go so well. I have tried not to think about this over the holidays because I knew it would make me feel this way and I would get stuck on thinking about. The school distrcit has a hiring freeze right now and I am aware that they are wanting to take away his aide. In some ways I feel like maybe he doesn't need that person as bad as another child might, maybe a child that was in a wheel chair. They also have one teacher, 2 aides and 7 children in his class for only 3 hours every morning. Does he really require an extra aide all to himself? Then I start to think about all the help he does need- help with toileting, help with walking down the hall, hand over hand assistance for most all activities, help with feeding. I wish someone could tell me how to feel about this. In some way I feel that if I don't fight for his one on one aide that I am letting him down and I have given up trying to help him. His ABA therapists say he has regressed on his goals since starting school and I know it is because the instruction he receives is not as intensive as our home program. There are so many things that I would want to change about the school situation. I also know that having worked as a speech therapist in the schools that when you complain too much no one wants to help your child. I wish that wasn't the case. Please pray that we keep our cool tommorrow and the best outcome will be given for Andrew. Oh- and pray for our sitter as she is stuck in Mexico and we have no one to watch Andrew at the moment.


Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I found your blog following a link and then another.
My husband and I were foster parents, so had many special needs children and sat through many IEP meetings, and updates to care plans, etc.
If I could share one phrase with you that I learned it is this, "It's not my problem". This can be said when you know your child needs a service and the school says something, like we can't find an aide, we don't have the room, we don't have the money, etc. A child that needs help, needs help. You do have to learn to use this phrase judiciously, not for everything. It can be said nicely, sometimes forcefully.
I know this probably seems strange to you that someone you don'tknow would write you. I've just made it my mission to help others with special needs children.
My e-mail is MACand, if you have any questions.
Mary from VA

Brooklyn said...

He needs his one on one aide and if they take it away now - you might never get it back! My mom "volunteers" in Brooklyn's preschool classroom and is basically her one on one aide we hope to have her hired by the school when she goes to Kindergarten - I think our kiddos can for sure benefit from the extra assistance!

I also wanted to say that I am glad your husband likes the blog - I leep telling my husband he needs to post - or even have his own - I do not think the daddies out there reach out for support of other daddies like us moms do!
Big Hugs from Indiana!

AlyssaGrace said...

Hi, my daughterhas retts as well, she is in kinder and has a one on one aide,(has had one since her second year of preschool) she needs the help. Get it in the IEP now and continue to have it there, don't let them take it out, they will try to do it. Also the schools can't use budget as an excuse that is not a parents problem or worry. Hope that things go well.