Care hitting a record low

For the first time in a while I cried today. After I picked up Andrew from school I waited for an attendant to show up to care for him so that I could get back to work. We have had the same attendant all week who has been wonderful and expected her to show up again today. Nope, didn't happen. Instead I opened the door to a 50 year old woman with no teeth, and cigarrette smoke wreaking out of the pores of her skin. No teeth, can you imagine....I mean really. She was wearing skin tight workout pants with a scrub top which didn't go well on her overweight body. I was immediately disappointed and left wondering what to do about my busy afternoon schedule. After showing her around and going over everything I sat for about 20 minutes trying to inhale a quick lunch. She was really loud and flamboyant and started apologizing to me for smelling like smoke. She said she sprayed down with Febreeze when she got out of the car. What? Is that even for your clothes? I thought it was for furniture, maybe I'm wrong. Then she tells me she lives with a 33 year old man, what??? What would a 30 year old man be doing with someone with no teeth? I know my mother is thinking right now to hold up, and be the Christian woman that I am, but folks, really? Would you leave your precious child with such a person? Once she started talking she didn't stop and our two dogs were going crazy smelling her- which they never do to people that come over. Maybe she was smoking something else.....I don't know. I quickly got in the car, saw one feeding patient and then came home. I had already called the agency to let them know that I didn't want her to return to our house again and that the cigarrette smoke was unacceptable. When I returned home she was on her cell phone talking very loud. Apparently the agency had already called her to let her know I had complained. She started again with the apologies and told me she had been smoking since she was 11 and was trying to quit. I told her "wow, yeah, that must be hard." In my head I was thinking - what 11 years old, that's like 5th grade, where was your mother and what was she smoking? And how is that my problem? ARGH!! I hope God will forgive me because I lied and told her my her patients canceled and that I was taking Andrew to the zoo. Honestly, I didn't know what to say to her. I felt so sick to my stomach leaving Andrew here with her that all I could think about was getting her out of the house very quickly. So, now that I have canceled the rest of my patients I am actively looking for that special angel to take care of our angel.